DISCLAIMER:  I do not own the characters used in this songfic.  I do not own "Adam's Song" by Blink 182.  This is a long songfic, so don't flame me about it.  Enjoy.  Please note, this probably won't be good for Takari lovers, so if you love Takari, don't read!

"TK!" Mrs. Takaishi shouted, "Kari's here to see you!"  TK looked up from his math textbook with a surprised look in his eyes.  The two of them had not made plans for the day, so Kari's appearance was unexpected, though not completely unwanted.  TK smiled, slammed his textbook shut and dashed downstairs.

When he got downstairs, he immediately knew something was wrong.  He saw Kari, his girlfriend, sitting at his kitchen table, her hands continually clasping and unclasping themselves.  TK walked tentatively forward, and quietly cleared his throat.

"Hi, Kari," he said, trying to sound cheerful, but inside he was strangely nervous.  Kari turned when she heard TK's voice, and his thoughts were confirmed.  Kari's usually bright face was dark and sullen.  Her hazel eyes, normally reflecting her sunny disposition, were unusually dull.  There was a certain unnatural seriousness about her, and TK couldn't help but feel afraid of what Kari had to say.

"We need to talk, TK," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.  TK gulped, and nodded once.  He followed Kari out the door, closing it quietly behind him.

Mrs. Takaishi watched her son walk out the door silently.  She looked sadly at his retreating figure, sighed and returned her gaze to the screen of her laptop.


They walked side by side down the sidewalk in silence.  TK had his hands shoved deeply in his pockets to mask the fact that his palms were sweating profusely, and his gaze was fixed on the ground, only looking up occasionally to keep from running into anything.  Kari had her hands crossed across her chest, and it was obvious that she was also nervous, but about what, TK didn't know.

They reached the neighbourhood park, and Kari gestured to an empty bench nearby.  TK trudged forward to the bench and sat down, followed immediately by Kari.  Kari sighed and turned to TK.

"TK," she began tentatively, "There's something I have to tell you."  Her gaze strayed to TK's eyes, and she immediately cursed at herself.

"Damn!" she cried, "Why does this have to be so difficult to say?"  TK leaned over and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"What is it, Kari?" he asked uncertainly.  Kari took a deep breath before turning to meet his gaze.

"I don't know how to say this," she said, "So, here it goes…I think we should break up."

I never thought I'd die alone.  I laughed the loudest, who'd have known.

"You're joking, right?" TK said, laughing nervously at the statement, but his laughter died when he looked into Kari's eyes.  "Right?"  Kari averted her eyes, not wanting to see TK in such pain.

"I'm sorry," she managed to get out, "I don't want to hurt you, TK, I honestly don't.  It's just that…I think I've fallen for somebody else."  TK turned away from Kari, and was on the verge of tears.  Get a hold of yourself, TK, he told himself, Damnit, you can't let her see you like this.  He regained his composure and turned back to Kari, his face now devoid of all emotion.

"All right, Kari," he said blankly, "You've made your decision, and I respect it.  I just want you to be happy."  Kari smiled and moved closer to TK. 

"Thanks, TK," she said, "I knew you'd understand.  Are we still friends?"  TK gave her a ghost of a smile.

"Forever," he said.  Kari grinned, leaned forward and enveloped TK in a hug.

"I'll see you later, right?" she asked, pushing herself to her feet.  TK nodded and waved her off.  She smiled, and dashed off and out of the park.  Once Kari was out of sight, TK broke down and cried.

I traced the cord back to the wall.  No wonder, it was never plugged in at all.

I can't believe this is happening, he thought, This has to be a dream.  He slowly got to his feet, still in a daze and tried walking.  Unfortunately, his legs didn't want to move and he fell to his knees.  He choked down a sob, and pounded his fist to the ground.  If this is reality, he thought, then it's pretty damn warped for this to happen to me.  He pushed himself to his feet, and slowly walked out of the park.

I took my time, I hurried up.  The choice was mine, I didn't think enough.

He wandered around town aimlessly for hours, in an almost drunken stupor.  What did I do wrong? he asked himself, What did I do to her to make her leave me?  Someone, just tell me, please.  If I knew, maybe I could stop this

Eventually, he found himself at his brother's apartment complex.  He took a deep breath, raised his index finger to the buzzer, and pressed the button.  His brother's voice came on the intercom a scant few moments later.

"Yeah, this is Matt," he said.  TK forced the lump in his throat down, and responded.

"Hey, Matt, it's me," he said.

"How're you doin', bro?" Matt asked cheerfully.  TK sighed.

"Not very well," he replied, "Can I come up?  I need to talk to somebody."

"Sure," Matt said, confused at his brother's current disposition.  A loud buzzing noise sounded, and the lock to the door was released.  TK walked through the door and went over to the elevator.  He entered, pressed the button for the third floor, and tried to figure out what to tell his brother. 


The elevator bell rang, and the doors opened.  TK stepped out of the elevator uncertainly, looked in the hall to see if anyone was there, and went over to his brother's apartment.  He was about to knock on the door, when the door opened suddenly.  His brother quickly invited him in and shut the door.  TK walked into the apartment and looked around.  The apartment was a lot cleaner than the last time that he was there.  TK looked quizzically at his brother.

"Do you have guests?" he asked.  Matt nodded.

"Yeah, someone's here," he replied.  TK backed towards the door. 

"I'll come back another time, then," he whispered, fumbling for the doorknob. 

"Oh, no you don't," said a female voice from behind Matt.  Matt stepped aside, to reveal Sora Takenouchi, with her hands on her hips.  "You're not going to go anywhere until you tell us what's wrong."  TK sighed, and released the doorknob.  He knew better than to argue with Sora when she was in this kind of mood.

I'm too depressed to go on.  You'll be sorry when I'm gone.

Ten minutes later, the three of them were sitting around Matt's coffee table.  Sora and Matt were waiting for TK to tell them the problem, but TK was having trouble saying what was on his mind and in his heart.

"Come on, TK," Sora persisted, "We've known each other for years, and Matt's your brother.  If you can't tell your fellow digidestined, then who can you tell?"  If I can't tell them, then I can't tell anyone, he thought, but didn't say it aloud.  TK sighed, and began.

"Kari broke up with me," he began, and he noticed that his brother and Sora had a sympathetic look in their eyes.  "It was out of the blue," he continued, "I don't know what I did wrong.  All of a sudden, she says that she's fallen for someone else!  I don't know what to do!  I feel like I should just dig myself a hole and leave the world behind."  He suddenly collapsed and started crying into his hands.  Sora put a comforting arm around TK, and Matt began to speak.

"TK," he said, getting his brother's attention, "You're going to have to realize that sooner or later, times change, people change, and relationships never stay the same, even though you wish they could.  You're just going to have to move on."  TK jumped to his feet suddenly.

"Maybe I don't want to move on, Matt!" he cried, "She was everything that I could have ever wanted in someone, and she doesn't want to be with me!"  On the verge of tears, he moved back towards the door.  "I have to go," he mumbled.  He ran to the door, flung it open and ran out without bothering to close it.

Matt sighed, got up and closed the door.  He walked back to Sora and sat down beside her.

"Should we go after him?" she asked.  Matt shook his head.

"No, let him go," he replied, "He has to work this out on his own."  Sora sighed, and laid her head on Matt's shoulder.

"I wish we could help him," she whispered.  Matt put his arm around her and brought her close.

"So do I, Sora," he said, "So do I."


I never conquered, rarely came.  16 just held such better days.

A little while later, TK was sitting on the bridge, contemplating the past.  He thought back to his early days of high school.  His vision blurred as he thought back…

**FLASHBACK**

TK glanced unconsciously at his watch.  He had offered to drive Kari to school, and now he was waiting in front of her house.  Suddenly, the door opened and out came Tai Kamiya, Kari's older brother.  He walked over to TK's car, and motioned for him to roll down the window.  TK complied, and Tai leaned into the car.

"If you hurt my sister, I'll kill ya," he said teasingly.  TK gave Tai a salute.

"Yessir," he replied, "If I hurt her, feel free to kick my ass whenever it's convenient."  Tai gave his trademark smirk and ruffled TK's hair.

"I'll see you two lovebirds later," he said jokingly.  TK blushed visibly at the comment, and quickly rolled up the window.  Tai laughed, and went back into the house to get his sister.  A few moments later, Kari emerged from the house.  TK's jaw dropped as she made her way to the car.  She quickly climbed in and kissed TK on the cheek.

"Hey, Kari," he managed to choke out.  Kari smiled.

"I have something to tell you," she said.  TK leaned closer to hear.  "I love you," she finished.  TK's eyes widened.

"You - you do?" he asked, dumbfounded by Kari's declaration.  She nodded earnestly.

"I do.  Davis is a nice guy, but I don't care about him the way I care about you," she said.  TK blushed slightly.

"I love you too, Kari," he replied.  He leaned over and kissed her softly on the lips.  From the doorway of the Kamiya residence, Tai stood on the porch with Sora, smiling at the scene in TK's car.  He looked down at Sora, bent his head slightly and kissed her.  Sora blushed profusely, but returned the kiss just as passionately.  The two of them walked inside of the house, with Tai waving over his shoulder at TK.  TK gave a salute to Tai, started the engine and drove off to the high school.

**END FLASHBACK**

A tear slid down TK's cheek, and he stood up, suddenly aware of what he must do.

Days when I still felt alive.  We couldn't wait to get outside.

It was suddenly clear to him.  It all made perfect sense.  I can't live without her, he told himself, so I won't live at all.  One step was all it would take, and then…oblivion.  He was about to do it, when a voice called him back.

"TK!  Stop!" it shouted.  He turned to see Cody standing behind him.  TK motioned for him to leave.

"Go away, Cody," he said, "This doesn't concern you."  Cody's eyebrows shot up.

"What do you mean, it doesn't concern me?" he asked, "I'm your friend, and a fellow digidestined.  When one of my best friends is about to commit suicide, I'd say that it concerns me."  TK scoffed.

"There's no point in living anymore," he said, "She's with someone else."  Cody's eyes widened,  suddenly realizing the seriousness of the situation.

"Is that what this is all about?" he asked, "You're going to commit suicide because Kari broke up with you?"  TK turned away, attempting to avoid the question, but Cody persisted.

"Jesus.  Of all of the dumb things that you've done since I've known you, this tops it all," he said.  TK's eyes narrowed, and he leapt off of the bridge to confront Cody.

"What do you know about what I'm going through?" he asked, obviously pissed off.  Cody shook his head.

"Look, I don't know what you're going through," he began, "God only knows what that must feel like, having your heart shattered by the one you love, but just because Kari doesn't love you doesn't mean that she doesn't care about you.  What do you think she would say about what you're doing now?"  TK's gaze faltered, and he turned away from Cody.  He sighed in defeat.

"You're right, Cody," he said, "Thanks for being here.  If you weren't, I don't know what would have happened."  Cody smiled, and extended his hand, which TK accepted.

"What are friends for?" he asked.  TK gave him a ghost of a smile, and began to walk away.

"I've got some stuff to take care of," he said, "I'll talk to you later, ok?"  Cody flashed him a thumbs up.

"No problem, TK.  You know where I'll be if you need me," he replied.  TK nodded, and walked off in the opposite direction.  Cody, satisfied that he helped out a friend in need, walked away, his only thoughts being of home and dinner.


The world was wide, too late to try.  The tour was over, we survived.

TK thought about what Cody said while he walked towards home.  Maybe he's right, he told himself, that would have been a dumb thing to do.  But my heart's been broken, and it hurts so badly…but I can live with it.  Besides, I'd rather have her as a friend then not have her in my life at all.  He sighed, and continued on his way home.

I couldn't wait 'till I got home.  To pass the time in my room alone.

TK arrived home a little bit later.  He quickly opened and shut the door, and went over to his mother.

"Mom," he said, "If anyone comes for me, tell them that I don't feel like talking."  His mother nodded.

"Of course, honey," she said.  TK nodded his thanks, and walked upstairs to his room.  He closed and locked the door, and lay back on his bed.  He stared up at the ceiling, trying to forget about the events of the day, until he fell into a fitful slumber.


I never thought I'd die alone.  Another six months I'll be unknown.

Six months have passed, and TK has almost forgotten about his failed suicide attempt.  His mother got a better job, and they moved into a better house, away from all of the other digidestined.  He managed to stay in contact with most of them, but he wasn't able to stay in touch with Kari.  He made new friends, but he still missed being around the other digidestined.  He called Tai's house to try and set up a reunion, but he got the answering machine with the following message:  Hello, this is the Kamiya residence.  If you're looking for my mother, she's not here right now.  If you're looking for me, Tai, which I'm sure you are, you can try my cell phone.  Thanks.

TK's eyebrows rose at the end of the message.  Why didn't he mention Kari in the message? he wondered.  He shrugged his shoulders, got out his address book and looked up Tai's cell phone number.  It rang four times before Tai picked up.

"Hello, this is Tai," he said.  TK smiled at his friend's voice.

"Hey, Tai, guess who?" he asked.  Tai chuckled softly.

"What's goin' on, TK?" he asked.  TK groaned.

"How'd you know it was me?" he asked teasingly.  Tai laughed

"Tsk tsk, my dear boy, haven't you ever heard of caller ID?" he asked.  TK chuckled.

"I forgot about that little invention," he replied, "Where are you now?"

"I'm hanging out with Joe and Izzy," he said, "You wanna talk to them?"  TK smiled.

"Sure," he replied. 

"Hang on a second," Tai said.  In the ten minutes following, TK reminisced with Joe and Izzy, and caught up with the times.  Then Tai got the cell phone back.

"Damn, it's a good thing I have unlimited evenings and weekends on this thing," he said, "or I'd be making you pay for this call, TK."  TK chuckled at the joke.

"Where's Kari?" he asked.  At that moment, Tai chose to suddenly become silent for several minutes.  "Tai?"  On the other end, Tai sighed.

"You sure you want to know?" he asked solemnly.  TK's eyes narrowed.

"Is there something you haven't told me, Tai?" he asked suspiciously. 

"Yes, TK, there is," Tai replied, "About a week ago…Kari got married."  TK's jaw dropped.  Why didn't anyone tell me? he thought.

"Has she…asked about me?" he asked.

"Sorry, TK.  It seems that when you moved away, she just forgot about you," Tai replied, "Sorry, buddy."  TK's sorrow increased exponentially. 

"It's ok, Tai," he said blankly, "I've got to go now.  Bye."

"See you later, kid," Tai said teasingly, but TK had already hung up.  Tai sighed, and hung up his cell phone.  Izzy and Joe walked up to him.

"What's wrong, Tai?" Joe asked.  Izzy looked at Tai quizzically.

"What happened with TK?" he asked.  Tai shook his head.

"I don't know.  He sounded completely spaced out when I told him that Kari got married," he said.  Izzy placed a hand on Tai's shoulder.

"Tai…" he began, "Am I right in assuming that Cody never told you about what happened six months ago?"  Tai's eyes narrowed.

"What am I missing here?" he asked.  Izzy sighed.

"Six months ago, on the day that Kari broke up with him, Cody found TK about to commit suicide," he stated bluntly.  Tai's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked, "TK…commit suicide?  He couldn't have.  It's not in his nature."  Joe shook his head.

"Sorry, Tai, but he almost did," he said, "If Cody hadn't been there to stop him…"  Tai's shoulders sagged, and he would have crashed to the floor if Joe and Izzy hadn't been there to catch him.

"You've got to be kidding me," he whispered.


TK was going furiously through his room, picking out anything that he might need.  That's it, he told himself, that's the last time that I'm kept in the dark.  I'm tired of not knowing what to do.  Now, I know what to do.  It was a good thing his mother wasn't home, or he would've had a much harder time pulling off his plan.  He programmed the new message into his phone, turned it off and laid it on his bed.  He knew Tai would be trying to call him, but by the time Tai tried, he'd be long gone.  He grabbed his backpack, slung it over his shoulder, and walked solemnly down the stairs and out the door.


Tai was dialling his cell phone furiously, trying to catch TK, but to no avail.  He called Joe and Izzy over and asked them for TK's cell phone number.  Tai dialled and put it on speaker so they could all talk and listen.  However, nobody picked up as an automated message came on.

Give all my things to all my friends.  You'll never step foot in my room again.

"Tai, if you're listening to this, you're just wasting your time.  I'm tired of not being in control of anything.  I want you to have all of my stuff distributed between the digidestined.  Afterwards…well, no one will be living in my room for a long time."

You'll close it off, you'll board it up.  Remember the time that I spilled the cup.

"I've just been reminiscing about the good old days, when everything was so much simpler.  If I made a mistake, I'd be able to clean it up.  But I can't clean up a mistake that happened so long ago."

Of apple juice in the hall.  Please tell mom this is not her fault.

"Tai, before I leave I need to ask something of you.  Tell my mom…that my leaving isn't her fault.  Thanks.  Your friend and fellow digidestined, Takeru Takaishi."

"Damn!" Tai exclaimed.  Joe sighed.

"There's nothing we can do now," he whispered.  Izzy shook his head.

"We may not be able to do anything," he replied, turning to Tai, "but we all know the one person who can stop him.  Tai, you have to call her."  Tai sighed, and nodded.

"You're right," he said, dialling the proper number.  It rang twice, and then someone picked up.

"Hi, Kari?" he asked, "There's something you should know…"


I never conquered, rarely came.  16 just held such better days.

TK caught a cab after leaving his home, and directed the driver to take him to the bus station.  On the way, his mind wandered once again to the past…

**FLASHBACK**

"And now, the moment you've all been waiting for," yelled the principal of Odaiba High School, "This year's juniour prom king and queen.  The queen is…Kari Kamiya!"  There was a large amount of applause, as everyone liked Kari's gentle disposition, and Kari walked slowly and steadily up to the podium to receive her crown.  Davis was elbowing TK almost constantly.

"I'm going to be named the king, and Kari will be my queen!" he cried softly, "Can this get any better?"  TK smirked at Davis' enthusiasm and turned his attention back to the principal.

"And now…this year's king is…Takeru Takaishi!" he yelled.  TK's smirk widened into a grin as he saw Davis' jaw drop in astonishment.  TK made his way to the podium to receive his crown.  The principal smiled at the royal couple on the podium, and then turned to the rest of the crowd.

"Now, conforming with tradition, the king and queen will have the last dance of the night.  I hope you enjoyed yourselves, and god bless."  The crowd parted into a circle as TK helped Kari off of the podium and slowly onto the dance floor.  The DJ played the last slow song of the night:  "Truly, Madly, Deeply" by Savage Garden.

As TK gently held Kari in his arms as they danced, he felt as if he was in heaven.  It seemed as if nothing could bring him down, and it only got better.  Kari rested her head on TK's shoulder, which made him blush slightly red.  He could hear everyone around him murmuring something along the lines of:  "They make such a great couple."

TK gingerly brought Kari's face up to his and lightly kissed her on the lips, which drew applause from the crowd..  Kari's face became flushed, but she returned the kiss. 

TK broke off the kiss and gazed deeply into Kari's hazel eyes.

"I love you, Kari Kamiya," he whispered.  Kari smiled, and laid her head back on his shoulder.

"I love you too, Takeru Takaishi," she whispered.

**END FLASHBACK**

"Hey, kid," a voice said, snapping TK out of his daydreams.  He turned to see the cab driver motioning outside.  "We're here.  That'll be 2500 yen."  TK nodded, reached into his pocket and pulled out 3, 000 yen. 

"Keep the change," he said, getting out of the car.  The driver tipped his hat, and drove off.  TK sighed, grabbed his bag and walked over to the terminal.

"What's the soonest bus leaving from here?" he asked the attendant.  The attendant typed some information into the computer, and came up with a time.

"Around 20 minutes, sir, to Kyoto.  Is that acceptable?" she asked.  TK nodded.

"Yes, I'd like a ticket, please.  One way," he added.  The attendant nodded, and printed off the ticket. 

"That will be 10, 000 yen, please," she said.  TK handed over the cash and got the ticket.  "Thank you, sir, and have a nice ride."  TK nodded absently and walked over to a chair to sit and wait for the bus.

Days when I could still feel alive.  We couldn't wait to get outside.

TK was waiting in the chair for what seemed like forever.  He felt like he was dead inside, and nothing would be able to bring him back.

The world was wide, too late to try.  The tour was over, we survived.

I couldn't wait 'till I got home.  To pass the time in my room alone.

"Now boarding, the bus to Kyoto.  Please board now if you have a ticket," the loudspeaker called.  TK sighed, got up and prepared to walk to the bus.

"Wait!" a female voice called behind him.  TK turned to find Kari running towards him with tears in her eyes.  She threw her arms around his midsection and sobbed into his shirt.  TK was certainly surprised.

"What are you doing here, Kari?" he asked, pulling her from around his waist.  Kari sniffled, wiped her eyes, and began to speak.

"Tai called me when he heard the message on your cell phone," she said, "I lost you once as a love, Takeru, don't make me lose you as a friend too."  TK gazed into Kari's hazel eyes…the eyes he used to love staring into…and saw the truth.  She didn't forget about me, he cried out joyfully in his mind.

I never conquered, rarely came.  Tomorrow holds such better days.

He looked at Kari, then at his ticket, then back at Kari.  With a firm resolve, he walked away from Kari.  She ran after him.

"Where are you going!?!" she cried.  TK smiled.

"I'm going to get my money back," he said.  He was about to say more, but Kari threw her arms around him and wouldn't let go.  TK smirked.  Maybe there's something here for me after all, he told himself.

Days when I can still feel alive.  I can't wait to get outside.

"I'm not going anywhere, Kari," he said soothingly.  She pulled away from TK, paused and playfully smacked him across the cheek.  TK's eyes widened and he clapped his hand over his cheek.

"What was that for?" he asked.  Kari put her hands on her hips.

"That was for scaring me half to death, Takeru Takaishi," she said teasingly.

"Then I'd say I deserved that," he said, chuckling.

The world is wide, the time goes by.  The tour is over, I survived.

He turned to the attendant, who handed him his money with a smile.  He smiled in return, and put his arm around Kari. 

"I think it's time I met the man who got you to settle down," he said, smirking.  Kari smiled.

"You'll like him, TK," she said, "He's a lot like you."  He smiled, grabbed his bag, and they walked over to Kari's car, got in and drove away.

I can't wait 'till I get home.  To pass the time in my room alone.

END